Back in History class in 1988/1989 when I was 13, I was told that the girl that sat in the front of my row of seats liked me. This was a lie, and when I asked her out the whole class laughed at me for even trying. I don’t even remember her name.
When I was 16 I shared some looks with a girl in my driver’s education class. I asked her out, and she said yes. We agreed upon a date, and she stood me up. Rumor was that she has a friend drive her by where I was waiting to laugh at me.
During summer vacation after that incident I was working at the local grocery store down the street. I would eat lunch at the pizza place across the street (then named The Pizza Place), or the McDonalds across the parking lot. I was friendly with the girl behind the counter. We were the same age, had shared classes in school, and apparently enjoyed each others company well enough. I asked her out, she said yes, and gave me a fake phone number.
When I was 17 I was on the fencing team. I asked out the one girl that was also on the same school bus as me. When she said no, she did so politely, and gave me a reason as to why. Finally some decency in being declined, but still declined, none the less.
I started my next job on my 19th birthday in September of 1994, and got half the night off. Yippee! A couple months later I was about to ask out a fellow employee, but while I was trying to steer the conversation in the right direction she mentioned a boyfriend, and that was that.
On Tuesday, December 20th of that same year I left early, sick and crying uncontrollably. It took me an hour to make the 25 minute drive home (I had to pull over twice just to cry and convulse). I slept for 18 hours straight, and skipped school the next day. Back at work on Thursday the 22, I met this young Asian woman that was helping me in my department. I asked her out jokingly while on break the next day, and seriously on Christmas eve. We hung out on Wednesday the 28th, and went on our official first date on New Years day. It was a double date with her best friend. The girls made their guys spaghetti, and we watched two movies (Willow and Maverick). My date left to pick up her brother somewhere, and I was forced to wait with the other guy for nearly an hour while he hogged the gameboy. After they got back, her friend and other guy left, and I had my first kiss. My adrenaline dumped and I started to shiver uncontrollably. I left her house at 4:00am. I got her topless the next week. She got fired, we broke up for a week, got back together again, and finally had sex on Valentines day, 1995. It was a Tuesday morning. I screwed it up.
We were on again off again over the next 9 months. I could tell you the dates of all 7 times we did it, but I’m not in the mood. She broke up with me a total of four times, and I kept going back for more.
I got into a band with one employee’s son, that started dating my ex, so I had him kicked out of the band, and then when I left a year later they broke up
In 1997, the other guitarist of that band set me up on a blind date with someone he was going to school with (I had seen her at some get together supposedly, but didn’t meet her). We went on a date with the friend that set us up and his cousin (not my rules) on Monday, June 9th. My friend went to the men’s room, and I asked her if she was graduating high school with him (he was 18, I was 21), to which she replied, “I’m going to be a junior next year. I’m only 16.” The date was pretty much over for me at that point. It went on for another two hours, but I had checked out and don’t remember much of anything that happened after that.
I asked out a few women over the coming years, getting turned down at every attempt.
In December 2003 I started being friendly with the waitress where I ate lunch. I almost asked her out in January of 2004 when I found out she had a daughter, and then gave up on her. Then I fell for her again. In October, after a discussion about how I hadn’t been to Six Flags Great Adventure since 1995 (with the ex girlfriend), she invited me with her daughter, coworker, and another friend. We all had fun. I asked her out the next day and she turned me down. She had her reasons, but I still felt crushed about that one. When I saw her with an engagement ring on her finger I stopped eating there for years.
In June of 2006 (I checked my Live Journal entry for that one) I asked out a waitress at Pizza Hut waitress (she was 18, I was 31). She was complaining about how her boyfriend had broken up with her, while leaving her station to sit next to me and put her hand on my thigh. Begging to be asked out doesn’t get much more overt than that. she said yes, but then got back together with her ex by the end of the week.
I went to Las Vegas with my father and his friend for a poker tournament at Binions in November of 2007 from the 2nd to the 5th. Other people we knew there for the same event tried to pick me up a hooker while we were there, but I’m not into that. I bumped into one of the women of the group, and I got the feeling that she wanted to hook up, but couldn’t close the deal at that time. I later found out it was because she thought I was sharing a room with my father (I always get my own room because I snore too loudly). After returning from Vegas I did hook up with her after our weekly poker game on Tuesday, November 6th, and had sex for the first time in 12 years the next morning. It was the worst sex I ever had. I chalked half of that up to travel sickness (my blood pressure was all screwed up), as well as my back giving out. I took her out on a date the next Friday, November 17th, and found out how crazy she was, and realized things would never work out.
This summer I asked out a waitress where I eat lunch. She took it well, but never really responded to me about it…
And then I asked out my former mechanic’s daughter last month. She said yes, and then was busy for two weeks, and then went on a two week vacation with her parents. Two more weeks after she was supposed to get back she won’t return my calls…
I fail at women.